Just As Free, Free As We'll Ever Be

Eyes closed.

Deep Breath.

 "We'll end up hand in handSomewhere down on the sand
Me and you… Just as free
Free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be."

Eyes open.

Blue.

Sky.

Ocean.

Warmth…affection given by the sun.

Healing…affection given by the salt.

I look for Brent up the beach and see him as we dreamed countless nights lying in bed in Oklahoma. Every vivid detail we outlined to help us imagine what is now our reality.  No one can take that from us. 

I turn around and walk back to my red umbrella.

This happens…a lot. 

As some of you may know, the company I work for not only provides lifeguards, we also provide a variety of beach rentals.  Everything from umbrella and chair sets, recumbent bikes we cleverly call Fun Cycles and Banana Peels, body boards, kayaks, catamarans and the less than ideal aqua cycle. 

My supervisor told me once that our job exists because of human fallacy.  If everyone knew how to swim, my job as a “lifeguard” would be unnecessary.  If everyone visiting the beach for the day packed, hauled and set up their umbrella and chairs, why set up mine? If every mother skillfully planned a detailed list of activities to keep her children occupied all day so she could get just ONE hour to herself, why spend so much on boats and bicycles? I pick up trash on the beach others leave to kill dolphins. YES. If you leave trash on the beach, a dolphin will eat it, and die.  But due to human ignorance…Oh, eh…fallacy, they don’t consider the effects their careless actions have on others or the animals and environment they are harming.  No, not everyone is versed in first aid or radio codes; therefore, I exist in case your foot happens to meet a Horseshoe Crab or you ignore the caution flags and get “bit” by a jellyfish.

Side Note: Jellyfish don’t bite, they sting. Jellyfish don’t have teeth.  Therefore, they are not even capable of biting.  Some, not all jellyfish do have stinging cells that cause an intense burning sensation when they come into contact with bare skin.  This burning can be neutralized with salt water (how convenient) or a vinegar/ water solution.  Please do not allow someone to pee on your jellyfish sting.  That’s embarrassing, not to mention ineffective unless you’ve never heard of the placebo effect.  Then yes, maybe it would work for you. 

Every aspect of my job from the moment my feet hit the sand early in the morning until late that same evening brushing it off before crawling into my car to go home, involves people.  I understand that we as humans are naturally selfish, ignorant and make mistakes.  I'm one.  Knowing this, I intentionally start every day with a positive attitude in hopes of being met with the same energy to keep me moving throughout the day.  Sadly, i’ve learned from many encounters how rare it is to find others who give respect selflessly rather than demand respect selfishly.  I’ve had beach patrons call me ugly profane names for not giving them their way.  One in particular called me the biting “B” word for not allowing her to steal MY chair.  I’ve been mocked by drunks, criticized by old people, ignored when advising beach ordinances and inappropriately approached for pictures by creeps. 

Why continue? You ask.

Because all I have to do is walk away from my umbrella...

Eyes closed.

Deep Breath.

And remember.

"We're free as we'll ever be
."

I continue because of people like Mr. and Mrs. Kidwell.  A lovely couple from Maryland who have visited the island for 15 years and blessed me this week with warm smiles, good conversation and many laughs.  I continue because of the Sdono family.  John, Ann and Lizzie who visited last week from Ohio when they crossed paths with Brent on the beach.  They sincerely took interest in our life and asked us to a nice sushi dinner where we got to know each other as friends.  I can’t tell you what that meant to us. I continue because I know people think we are crazy and irrational to “throw away” college degrees.  They’re right to say we are crazy… crazy happy and irrational…irrationally generous and the only thing I feel I’ve thrown away is a life lived to please the worlds expectations.

Be crazy.

Responsibly irrational.

Selfless.

Throw away the American dream. 

And go for your own.

"No we don't have a
lot of moneyNo we don't have a
lot of moneyNo we don't have a
lot of moneyAll we need is love.We're free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be."

                           - Zac Brown Band, "Free"