Just As Free, Free As We'll Ever Be

Eyes closed.

Deep Breath.

 "We'll end up hand in handSomewhere down on the sand
Me and you… Just as free
Free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be."

Eyes open.

Blue.

Sky.

Ocean.

Warmth…affection given by the sun.

Healing…affection given by the salt.

I look for Brent up the beach and see him as we dreamed countless nights lying in bed in Oklahoma. Every vivid detail we outlined to help us imagine what is now our reality.  No one can take that from us. 

I turn around and walk back to my red umbrella.

This happens…a lot. 

As some of you may know, the company I work for not only provides lifeguards, we also provide a variety of beach rentals.  Everything from umbrella and chair sets, recumbent bikes we cleverly call Fun Cycles and Banana Peels, body boards, kayaks, catamarans and the less than ideal aqua cycle. 

My supervisor told me once that our job exists because of human fallacy.  If everyone knew how to swim, my job as a “lifeguard” would be unnecessary.  If everyone visiting the beach for the day packed, hauled and set up their umbrella and chairs, why set up mine? If every mother skillfully planned a detailed list of activities to keep her children occupied all day so she could get just ONE hour to herself, why spend so much on boats and bicycles? I pick up trash on the beach others leave to kill dolphins. YES. If you leave trash on the beach, a dolphin will eat it, and die.  But due to human ignorance…Oh, eh…fallacy, they don’t consider the effects their careless actions have on others or the animals and environment they are harming.  No, not everyone is versed in first aid or radio codes; therefore, I exist in case your foot happens to meet a Horseshoe Crab or you ignore the caution flags and get “bit” by a jellyfish.

Side Note: Jellyfish don’t bite, they sting. Jellyfish don’t have teeth.  Therefore, they are not even capable of biting.  Some, not all jellyfish do have stinging cells that cause an intense burning sensation when they come into contact with bare skin.  This burning can be neutralized with salt water (how convenient) or a vinegar/ water solution.  Please do not allow someone to pee on your jellyfish sting.  That’s embarrassing, not to mention ineffective unless you’ve never heard of the placebo effect.  Then yes, maybe it would work for you. 

Every aspect of my job from the moment my feet hit the sand early in the morning until late that same evening brushing it off before crawling into my car to go home, involves people.  I understand that we as humans are naturally selfish, ignorant and make mistakes.  I'm one.  Knowing this, I intentionally start every day with a positive attitude in hopes of being met with the same energy to keep me moving throughout the day.  Sadly, i’ve learned from many encounters how rare it is to find others who give respect selflessly rather than demand respect selfishly.  I’ve had beach patrons call me ugly profane names for not giving them their way.  One in particular called me the biting “B” word for not allowing her to steal MY chair.  I’ve been mocked by drunks, criticized by old people, ignored when advising beach ordinances and inappropriately approached for pictures by creeps. 

Why continue? You ask.

Because all I have to do is walk away from my umbrella...

Eyes closed.

Deep Breath.

And remember.

"We're free as we'll ever be
."

I continue because of people like Mr. and Mrs. Kidwell.  A lovely couple from Maryland who have visited the island for 15 years and blessed me this week with warm smiles, good conversation and many laughs.  I continue because of the Sdono family.  John, Ann and Lizzie who visited last week from Ohio when they crossed paths with Brent on the beach.  They sincerely took interest in our life and asked us to a nice sushi dinner where we got to know each other as friends.  I can’t tell you what that meant to us. I continue because I know people think we are crazy and irrational to “throw away” college degrees.  They’re right to say we are crazy… crazy happy and irrational…irrationally generous and the only thing I feel I’ve thrown away is a life lived to please the worlds expectations.

Be crazy.

Responsibly irrational.

Selfless.

Throw away the American dream. 

And go for your own.

"No we don't have a
lot of moneyNo we don't have a
lot of moneyNo we don't have a
lot of moneyAll we need is love.We're free as we'll ever be
Just as free
Free as we'll ever be."

                           - Zac Brown Band, "Free" 

Four Weeks In And A Few Shades Darker.

Four weeks in and a few shades darker the season has officially begun.  I expected a slow start in spring.  I imagined sitting with the gulls enduring cold rain, fierce winds and 30 mph sand blasts.  However, other than a few dull and dreary days we’ve been granted ideal vacation weather. This past weekend could have fooled you for the middle of July. Warm temps, hundreds of multi-colored umbrellas stacked on one another, kids running in and out of the water and question after question from beach goers on their daily stroll. 

I’ve enjoyed cloudless skies and small talks with locals, like Coach.  Coach is an older fellow who moved to the island in 2006. He coached basketball professionally for 20+ years before retirement and now officiates baseball recreationally.  If the sun is out, Coach is out.  Sporting his vintage, yellow, 10-speed cycle with a green beach chair strapped to his back.  He ALWAYS says hello, asks which way the tide is moving and if I need anything.  I’ve come to appreciate people like Coach.  So willing to open up his life and share, and equally as interested in mine.  He might be old but his mind is sharp and he remembers every detail I highlight in my many stories.  It’s fascinating to know a complete stranger knows more about my life, goals and dreams than members of my own family.  Why so? He asks. He listens.  What a complicated concept, eh? But to think so many people miss the opportunity to know the best about the people who are closest to them because they don’t take the time.     

I quickly brushed up on my first aid skills day one.  A woman approached me with a nasty gash on her arm unable to control the bleeding. 

“What happened?” I asked reaching for my first aid kit.

“Oh, A dog bit me while I was walking over there.” She points behind her.

“What? Where is it? What color? Do you know the breed?

Her response: “Oh. Well…(insert long awkward pause) …it was MY dog.”

My response: “Um. Okay...(insert long awkward pause)...well let's get you cleaned up, shall we? 

People’s natural reaction to “save face” is funny to me. 

Unimpressed by the way adults try to play it cool; I prefer the unashamed reactions I get from kids when in need of help.  The example I’ll use happened last week when a sweet seven-year-old girl stepped on a stingray while boogie boarding.  Luckily, the barb didn’t penetrate her foot deep enough to release its painful (but not deadly) venom; however, due to her reaction you would have thought otherwise. I’m talking THE death scream.  The one I’d imagine a prehistoric pterodactyl emitting while escaping the jaws of a dreaded T-Rex.  I raced to her holding my first aid kit, heart pounding, recalling stingray protocol I learned in orientation.  Her mother was dancing around me in panic and her dad sat there staring with his mouth wide-open catching sand drifts.  Obviously, no help.  I realized quickly she was unimpressed by my medical terminology mumbo-jumbo. Plan B? What would I want someone helping me to say? I quickly interjected between irrational screams, “YOU ARE THE BRAVEST LITTLE GIRL I’VE EVER SEEN!”

Silence.

Sniffles.

NAILED IT!

Now. You might be thinking, “Really? The bravest?” I might be a beach lifeguard, but the thought of stepping on a bacteria infested stingray with a four inch serrated barb loaded with potent venom capable of delivering very painful spasms up my leg …frankly scares the hell out of me.  How would I react? Like a fleeing pterodactyl inches from the grip of a hungry predator.  I am unashamed to admit that. 

So yes, my response to you, “the bravest.”  By this time I had my gloves on, a gauze pad pressed to the wound and the bleeding controlled.  I wrapped her leg up, carried her to her towel, and gave her parents instructions on how to care for it once they left the beach, closed my first aid box and walked back to my umbrella with post adrenaline jitters.

I understand with age comes responsibility for your actions, or in this case re-actions, but it’s okay to let out a whimper and express you’re in pain.  That doesn’t mean you aren’t brave.  It means you’re honest.  I can respect that.  

Moral of the story? Shuffle your feet when you are in warm ocean waters to avoid stepping on a stingray. 

;)

Let's Begin, Shall We?

I've sat in the lifeguard stand many hours pondering this very idea of beginning a blog.  Well, to be more thorough my thought process began on a rainy day.  Not a soul on the beach.  It was cold and I had yapped God's ear off going on three hours.  He practically told me to find something else to entertain my mind with so I began thinking of ways to keep entertained the remaining five hours.

I love to doodle. So I began. A cartoonesque portrait of a lady who yelled at me earlier that week for not "doing something" about the jelly fish in the water.  Really.  As I began to recollect on the details of that conversation I started giggling thinking about how ridiculous the woman had been.  Man was she irate! Called me ugly names, discredited my character, asked for her money back on a rental I had sold her...all at the decibel range of..oh..slightly louder than a Blue Oyster Cult concert circa 1980?

After she left, ears ringing I found myself short of breath, fighting back tears.  The rest of the day was a blur bandaging bloody knees, whistling out boats close to shore, asking patrons to hide their beer and reapplying sunscreen.

UNTIL.

A woman who had been renting an umbrella and chair set from me that week interrupted my thoughts with a gift bag containing her favorite romance novel and a bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies.

With a sweet smile she said, "You have been a JOY to me this week.  Thank you for sharing your stories with me, they made my vacation!"  She then asked for a hug and that angel of a woman turned away and left me whole again.

Side note: that is the difference between life-taking words, and life-giving words my friends.  

Thanks to that cold, rainy, boring day in the high chair while doodling the Cross Jelly Fish Crusader, I was lead to the thought of the loving Milano Cookie Giver that it grabbed me! I must share these stories.

My intentions of writing this blog are first for selfish reasons.  I want to remember these stories years from now!  Second, I want to share them with my friends and family.  I realized going home for Christmas, people I call loved ones didn't understand the entirety of why Brent and I moved away and what we do day to day.  This is to help y'all understand! Lastly, I hope to share the life lessons I've learned from opportunities and obstacles on the beach that have helped me to grow in wisdom and faith.

For anyone who thinks ocean side lifeguards and Bay Watch are synonymous, please allow me to help you think differently.  It won't take long.